Goodbye My Lover
by Anawiel Dewdrop
Summary: Someone very dear to Goku has passed away. What goes through his mind at the funeral? One shot


Goodbye My Lover

Hiya guys, Anawiel here with, yes you guessed it, another songfic. I am sure I'm gonna get caught and kicked off of soon; I'm really pushing it now.

Anyway, this is a new DBZ fic, I thought I would take a break from Danny Phantom and go back to DBZ for this one (right in the middle of a DP story as well, I'm gonna be getting hate mail soon). I heard this song and nearly cried the first time, it's SOOOO Beautiful. I really can't express it in words but I thought it fit this scenario perfectly, for anyone. I could just imagine playing it at a loved one's farewell. Now be warned, this is very deep and sombre and morbid (but those kind of stories seem to be my speciality :p) so if that makes you feel uncomfortable I recommend you don't read this story. There is nothing graphic but I can understand that some people may not be happy about reading stories about funerals.

This takes place after DBZ and for the purposes of this story, DBGT never happened, not because I don't like it, on the contrary, but because it won't work if I include GT. Everyone in GT was still born and grew up and everything but Goku and Co stayed on Earth. Goku eventually came back after training Uub and lived at home again as an adult okay. Now, I have never seen DB so I will gloss over that and just use whatever information I was able to glean from DBZ/GT and hope I'm not too far wrong.

Disclaimer: I STILL do not own DBZ or any of the characters involved, they all belong to the incredibly talented Akira Toriyama to whom we owe much much praise. I don't own the beautiful song included in the story either. That belongs to James Blunt (the disproportionately talented genius) and it's called 'Goodbye My Lover' (funny co-incidence there Lol)

Goodbye My Lover

"…Peace be upon you, Amen" The priest finished his sermon and stepped down. He bowed to the coffin and left to wait outside for anyone who may have felt the need to be comforted.

Slowly the congregation of friends and family members stood up and filed their way past the coffin and the grief struck man standing beside it, offering words of farewell to the deceased and words of comfort for the man, who offered weak smiles of acknowledgment in return.

Two tall, well built men with raven hair approached last of all. "Dad…" the oldest one spoke first; he was wearing a plain black suit and his usual glasses. "…do you want some company?"

He smiled "Thanks Gohan, but I think I need to be on my own now, I'll see you outside okay" Gohan grasped his fathers elbow and nodded before heading outside with Goten to wait. When he was alone Goku turned back to the coffin behind him. Fresh tears formed in his eyes as he looked at the face on the velvet cushion inside. Her hair was streaked with grey and white, but rather than make her look old, they enhanced her already striking features. There were subtle lines around her eyes and at the corners of her mouth when she smiled, oh how he would miss that smile.

They had known each other since he was very young, not more than five years old. She had changed his life and without her, all he could see before him was a long dark tunnel before he finally returned to Otherworld for the last time.

As he stood over her lifeless body, studying her features and committing them to memory for the last time, music drifted his way, it was from anther room, where another funeral was probably being held, but his superior saiyan hearing picked it up as easily as if it were playing in the very room in which he stood. With a jolt, he realised just how significant the words were to him.

_Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
__Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?_

His mind wondered to all the times he had taken off and left her. How many times she had just let him do so. Just how many of those times had she been left behind feeling let down and resentful? How many times had she been left at home all alone because he had taken Gohan with him and risked both their lives? What kind of emotional rollercoaster had he put her on all those years?

_'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
__Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won._

That first date. He had coxed her into a sparing match, if coxed is the word you could use when you sent your fist into the tree behind her hoping for a retaliation. Yet even in those early days, when he had acted like he child he was, he knew what he was doing. It was as if someone had given him a crystal ball and allowed him a glimpse into the future, he could see himself happy married to this girl before their first 'date' was over. With a blinding flash of light he produced a perfectly controlled Ka-ma-ha-ma-ha wave and shot it in her direction, she had barley got out of the way in time and Goku had been declared the winner.

_So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
__Took your soul out into the night.  
__It may be over but it won't stop there,  
__I am here for you if you'd only care._

And now here he was, at that point in the future he so clearly saw when he was only five years old. Standing over her coffin looking down at her peaceful countenance and wiping away the tears of grief that threatened to overwhelm him. "You know I'm always here for you don't you?" he asked the woman before him "anytime you want, just ask King Kai, he'll put you through to me, until we can talk face to face again."

_You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
__You changed my life and all my goals.  
__And love is blind and that I knew when,  
__My heart was blinded by you_.

And that day, many many years ago, even while he physically blinded her into loosing, she had blinded him emotionally, but it would be a few years before he realised this. They had continued to see each other as friends, whenever she came down from the mountain, but it wasn't until they were both in their late teens before they had acknowledged (or Goku had finally realised) what had blossomed between them. Just before the Martial arts tournament they had married and began their married life the same way they had begun their first date, with a fight.

_I've kissed your lips and held your head.  
__Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
__I know you well, I know your smell.  
__I've been addicted to you._

Since that day his adoration for her had merely grown to the point where he felt like an addict for her. He had spent so much of his life with her that he couldn't imagine a day where he would be alone. But the day had finally arrived. They had known all along that as a sayian he was bound to outlive her, but that did nothing to lessen the pain he felt standing over her right now. He hadn't changed at all, he still looked the same way he did twenty years previously, but she had gradually, aged gracefully. Yet even as she did so, he could still see the young woman he had fallen in love with.

_Goodbye my lover.  
__Goodbye my friend.  
__You have been the one.  
__You have been the one for me._

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,  
__You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
__And as you move on, remember me,  
__Remember us and all we used to be_

He smiled faintly as he remembered all the times she had called him a child, a dreamer. All the times she has chastised him for being so unpredictable, for having such a caring nature that he was ready to forgive and forget in all situations. He was never a down to earth kinda guy, in fact he spent a good portion of his life with his feet very far from the ground, sometimes even on different planets altogether. "I hope you don't forget me up there, Kai's know I won't forget you, I mean how could I? Our boys are just like you, smart and down to earth. I know you were proud of them"

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
__I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
__I'd be the father of your child.  
__I'd spend a lifetime with you._

"Through it all, you've stood by me. I don't think many other people would have, I can't thank you enough for that. For giving me a home to come back to, and the unconditional love that kept me going, all those years I was away from you in space"

_I know your fears and you know mine.  
__We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
__And I love you, I swear that's true.  
__I cannot live without you._

As he continued to listen to the music coming from another room, he smiled as he thought of all the nights when they had lay in bed and talked about those things exactly.

"Yea…your biggest fear was losing one of us wasn't it? You were terrified every time we took off to save the word again that you would never see us again. And you knew my biggest fear didn't you. Failing. I was always afraid that I would fail and innocents would die because of it. I was afraid that each time I came back bloodied and beaten, that would be the time that would break your back. I was afraid that you would kick me out, and not let me see our boys again, especially after all those times I took Gohan away from his studies."

_Goodbye my lover.  
__Goodbye my friend.  
__You have been the one.  
__You have been the one for me._

_And I still hold your hand in mine.  
__In mine when I'm asleep.  
__And I will bear my soul in time,  
__When I'm kneeling at your feet._

"You know, I still think about. Every night as I lie in bed, trying to get to sleep, I think of you. And when I do fall asleep, you're there, I dream about you, every night I dream about you, and think about when I will see you again in Otherworld. And I can tell you all of this in person. I know I should have said something sooner, and I don't have a good excuse for not doing so, but I hope you knew how much I adored you. But even if you didn't, I'll tell you in person when I see you again."

_Goodbye my lover.  
__Goodbye my friend.  
__You have been the one.  
__You have been the one for me._

Now was the time to say goodbye, as much as he had dreaded it, so he drew a deep breath before uttering the hardest words he had ever had to say in his life.

"Goodbye ChiChi, I love you" for the last time, he bent over her and brushed his lips softly on her forehead. He rose to his full height again and pulled himself out of the door with a great amount of effort, taking comfort in the knowledge they would be together again in Otherworld when he eventually followed her.

As he stepped out into the warm spring day he was gladdened to find that not a single person head left yet, they were still all stood outside waiting for him. He found his eyes were filling up again, but this time it had nothing to do with the grief he was feeling.

"You okay Dad" this time it was the younger of his two sons addressing him"

His eyes surveyed all of the people waiting for him and he let a smile pass over his face before gathering both of his sons under his arms and answering. " I will be Goten…I will be" and with one arm around each of his son's shoulders, he left the churchyard in the direction of the Capsule Corp mansion, where Bulma had offered to hold the wake, his friends following them out.

_I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.  
__I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow._

The End

And I mean it, I refuse to write anything else on his story, that's happened to me twice now and I'm not letting it happen again. I've tried to write a one-shot and then added another chapter, then another, then another and it suddenly spiralled out of control. So this is it.

Another horrible piece of writing out of the way, maybe now I can go back to one of my other stories.

What did you think, good, bad, indifferent? Let me know and I might just be persuaded to write more DBZ, this is my third fic and I quite like writing in DBZ world.


End file.
